I'm going to try and record all my weird daydreams on my blog. Well I can't remember if this was an actual dream or part of a daydream, either way it didn't happen in reality.
I was sitting in my Western Civilization class sitting next to, oh I need to come up with a nick name for him, but I don't have anyone reading this except Melinda so i'll go ahead and say. Me and Josh were sitting together and all of a sudden Luke came through the door. He came up to the teacher and was apologizing for not being there the class period before and then he saw me. He didn't really know what to do other than sit in the vacant seat in front of me, he kept looking back and grinning. I didn't know what to do or say except hello. Then my dream kinda goes a couple of weeks into the future and me and Luke are always seen constantly talking, which makes Josh just a wee bit jealous. Then we start carpooling together. Then I mention to Luke that I have to participate in a student life activity and he agrees to go to movie night with me. Of course we just go as friends, nothing happens. In my own bloody head and nothing happens, i have moved on. Well anyway as we were leaving the theater someone calls his name. We turn around and its his ex Shaundel. She kinda wonders what the hell we are doing together if we were only good friends. I take myself out of the equation and sit and wait quietly in the car for Luke. Then I wake up. However the weird thing is when I went to my west civ class today the teacher handed out terms to look up and the first term that i saw was the word 'pharoah'.
- Kristina
Friday, May 1, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Death and the Aftermath - part 1
Well my grandfather died Thursday morning. He was pretty sick with all sorts of illnesses: bone cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, pneumonia, and some of his organs were starting to fail. From what my brother told me, he suffered a heart attack that morning and died around 1:00 that day. He has suffered from cancer for a couple of years. Constantly in and out of hospitals and doctor's offices, never really finding any sort of comfort or peace.
My grandfather was a hard-working man who stood for family and faith in god. He was a very quite and humble man, but when wrestling came on you couldn't settle him down. He battled a lot of demons in his younger days, but overcame them when he gave up alcohol to become a deacon at Sand Creek Baptist Church. He served the Lord and that old church for decades. Some of my earliest memories of my Papa are of him mowing the churchyard on his favorite vehicle, a bright red tractor. I can remember him picking me up for Sunday school and asking me if I've ate breakfast yet. Without forgetting he would always buy me a sausage and biscuit from this old gas station that was on the way to church. He would ask me and my grandmother to sing Jesus Loves Me all the way to the churchyard. I can remember him ringing the huge bell that stood alongside the church house. Him and this old cane he used in church. I also remember some of the epic arguments in Creek he and my grandma would have. Nothing major, just maybe some little detail he didn't hear and my grandma would constantly repeat herself until she gave. Sometime I think he did it just to aggravate her, but he never said. He loved to grow gardens in his backyard. I would sometimes help him, only when he asked. I had a very thorough respect for my Papa because he was a very tall and strong man, and even in his older days not many would tangle with him. He was quite the fighter in his younger days and I suppose his reputation would precede him.
I loved my Papa...I loved him very much and I think it will take some time for it to sink in that I won't see him anymore. I know he suffered a lot with his illnesses and all, and in some ways I'm glad for his passing because now he won't have to suffer anymore. Yes there's a lot of regrets on my part: wishing I would have spent more time with him, got to know him better, ask him so many questions, etc. But out of all this, he left me one great and true legacy...people can change for the better and thus be better people. Faith and Family is what he lived for and on, so maybe one day I can follow in my Papa's example and become a better person.
My grandfather was a hard-working man who stood for family and faith in god. He was a very quite and humble man, but when wrestling came on you couldn't settle him down. He battled a lot of demons in his younger days, but overcame them when he gave up alcohol to become a deacon at Sand Creek Baptist Church. He served the Lord and that old church for decades. Some of my earliest memories of my Papa are of him mowing the churchyard on his favorite vehicle, a bright red tractor. I can remember him picking me up for Sunday school and asking me if I've ate breakfast yet. Without forgetting he would always buy me a sausage and biscuit from this old gas station that was on the way to church. He would ask me and my grandmother to sing Jesus Loves Me all the way to the churchyard. I can remember him ringing the huge bell that stood alongside the church house. Him and this old cane he used in church. I also remember some of the epic arguments in Creek he and my grandma would have. Nothing major, just maybe some little detail he didn't hear and my grandma would constantly repeat herself until she gave. Sometime I think he did it just to aggravate her, but he never said. He loved to grow gardens in his backyard. I would sometimes help him, only when he asked. I had a very thorough respect for my Papa because he was a very tall and strong man, and even in his older days not many would tangle with him. He was quite the fighter in his younger days and I suppose his reputation would precede him.
I loved my Papa...I loved him very much and I think it will take some time for it to sink in that I won't see him anymore. I know he suffered a lot with his illnesses and all, and in some ways I'm glad for his passing because now he won't have to suffer anymore. Yes there's a lot of regrets on my part: wishing I would have spent more time with him, got to know him better, ask him so many questions, etc. But out of all this, he left me one great and true legacy...people can change for the better and thus be better people. Faith and Family is what he lived for and on, so maybe one day I can follow in my Papa's example and become a better person.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It Doesn't Get Any Betta!
Seriously Franz Ferdinand and David Tennant...I've died and gone to some amazingly wonderful place.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Long Time No Post
Yea its been a while since i've posted anything on this bloody thing. I haven't really had much too say cuz nothing has really happened in my boring and pathetic little life.
I slowing think i'm going insane and don't know if i'll be able to be truly happy with my family again. It seems that its been ages since we've had a BBQ or day of fishing and golf. We used to do that sort of thing all the time until the dark cloud of the casino reared its ugly head. I absolutely hate that place, nothing good could possibly come from those places. I've seen perfectly able people go into a casino and come up out a blubbering idiot. It's takin my parents money hundreds of times, which makes you wonder just how much money they really have cuz at home we are barely making ends meet.
As for the family, its slowly falling apart at the seams. We all snipe at each other at the drop of a hat and we have started picking sides against one another. Not all the time, but when the topic of my brother's future comes up then all hell breaks loose.
I wonder if this is why i'm so socially messed up and how come i try so bloody hard at school just to fail utterly. Maybe this is why i have gained so much weight, getting headaches, worrying, stressing out, and suffering little anxiety attacks for no reason at all. Or maybe i am just crazy. Some days i think that this whole working for a better future thing isn't worth it.
- Kristina
I slowing think i'm going insane and don't know if i'll be able to be truly happy with my family again. It seems that its been ages since we've had a BBQ or day of fishing and golf. We used to do that sort of thing all the time until the dark cloud of the casino reared its ugly head. I absolutely hate that place, nothing good could possibly come from those places. I've seen perfectly able people go into a casino and come up out a blubbering idiot. It's takin my parents money hundreds of times, which makes you wonder just how much money they really have cuz at home we are barely making ends meet.
As for the family, its slowly falling apart at the seams. We all snipe at each other at the drop of a hat and we have started picking sides against one another. Not all the time, but when the topic of my brother's future comes up then all hell breaks loose.
I wonder if this is why i'm so socially messed up and how come i try so bloody hard at school just to fail utterly. Maybe this is why i have gained so much weight, getting headaches, worrying, stressing out, and suffering little anxiety attacks for no reason at all. Or maybe i am just crazy. Some days i think that this whole working for a better future thing isn't worth it.
- Kristina
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Friday: Do or Die!
Okay the title was a bit dramatic, but what can you expect from me.
Well there's this guy...god i sound cliche...anyway there's this guy in my health class that i've developed a crush on and i would really like the opportunity to go out with him before the semester is over. We talk all the time in class, but i don't know if he likes me in that way.
I always seem to be the "buddy type"...the girl-friend not the girlfriend...its been my persona since ever but anyway...
He's a really great guy and there's a good chance i won't see him again after the semester. So my plan is to ask him out on a date friday after class.
I'm sorta the shy type and don't know if i can do this. I haven't actually gone on a date and the only boy that would be considered a boyfriend to me was my junior high bf "the ride" So that just signifies how utterly pathetic i and my life is.
I'm 18 years old: never had a proper boyfriend, never been on a date, and never been kissed.
This all sounds like the basis to a really bad chick flick except its real and its happening to me! UGH!
-Kristina
(Captain of the Lonely Hearts Club Band)
Well there's this guy...god i sound cliche...anyway there's this guy in my health class that i've developed a crush on and i would really like the opportunity to go out with him before the semester is over. We talk all the time in class, but i don't know if he likes me in that way.
I always seem to be the "buddy type"...the girl-friend not the girlfriend...its been my persona since ever but anyway...
He's a really great guy and there's a good chance i won't see him again after the semester. So my plan is to ask him out on a date friday after class.
I'm sorta the shy type and don't know if i can do this. I haven't actually gone on a date and the only boy that would be considered a boyfriend to me was my junior high bf "the ride" So that just signifies how utterly pathetic i and my life is.
I'm 18 years old: never had a proper boyfriend, never been on a date, and never been kissed.
This all sounds like the basis to a really bad chick flick except its real and its happening to me! UGH!
-Kristina
(Captain of the Lonely Hearts Club Band)
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